Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive.
So much puke
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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