I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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