youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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