mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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