There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize