he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
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She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
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Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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