so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
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I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
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no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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