I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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