I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize