ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize