jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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