i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize