the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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