hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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