I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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