I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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