shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
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Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
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We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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