Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize