We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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