Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
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Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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