where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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