It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize