oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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