I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize