Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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