Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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