my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize