So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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