As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
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kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
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My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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