I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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