So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I am available for nakedness
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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