I showed him my bush... on skype.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
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