I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
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I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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