I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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