ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
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Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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