It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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