Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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