I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize