JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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