allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I know her cup size but not her name....
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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