He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize