So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize