i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize