I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize