If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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