You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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