Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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