even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
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I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just pee around me
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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