I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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