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i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
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